Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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