just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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