Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
