Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
