If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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