so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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