He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
