shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
