Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
