So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
