I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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