if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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