I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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