Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
