I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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