its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
