If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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