Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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