wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
