I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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