omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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