New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
