so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
