So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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