Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
