mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
