Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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