im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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