Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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