i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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