I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
