i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
