It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
