I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
