the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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