Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Randomize
