he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can I color on your dick again?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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