why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
