i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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