i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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