The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize