I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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