I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
