and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
