New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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