dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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