You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
how drunk are you?
Several
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
