He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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