Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
