Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
