I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
People in love make me want to vomit
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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