Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No subtext here. People are naked.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My vagina is officially offended.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So vagazzling was a success
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
