Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
