I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
