Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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