why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize