New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
