If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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