apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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