I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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