No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
