Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
