i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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