why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
