i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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