we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
