Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize