There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
