I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
