It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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